True Self 真の自分


Who are you?
Who am I? 

Have you ever thought of your true answer to these questions? 
I have. 
I always do.
…and never stop. 

The world changes like the weather in the mountains. How can I find one true answer? I choose not to come to one conclusion for avoiding the non-movable life. My life should continue to proliferate in the way that the beautiful Japanese cherry blossoms bloom in the spring time. 

Speaking of cherry blossoms, they seem to shine only during the blooming time. Where I twice lived, Vancouver BC, Canada, hundreds of Sakura trees bloom in the early spring.  When the still-chilled breeze touches my cheek, I walk around the town to enjoy the spectacular moment. And yet, this is not the only time they constantly grow and change their being by standing in the sun or rain while living with other entities. As the true self of cherry trees, I often take for granted of many faces that show or don’t show. Whether the truth appears or not, the true self resides in each tree. 

How about me? Who am I? And how do I describe what my true self means? 

Instead of finding “it”, I always would like to search for the true self as I travel through my life. During the journey, I consider my life as the weather in the mountains. In one day, the motion could change a few times a day. During this change, because of the different conditions, I notice things in myself. Because I experience sadness, I notice the happiness. I truly need both positive and negative experiences. Perhaps I might just sit in-between those two emotions to discover something new, emotions that I have never felt before. I am just about to leave the large city where I have lived for 14 years this time. Leaving the familiar city makes me feel melancholic, yet at the same time, looking forward to the new life that I have never experienced before excites me. Living with both these incredible feelings, I see my temporal true self.

I love those different coloured stones in the river in Squamish, BC as you see in the photo I took. When they are in water, they show the different colours, however, when they are dried up on the river bank, the colour difference disappears. Once I move to this new exciting not-yet-lived place, this place also will become my usual place to be. I may forget the excitement that I currently carry in my heart so quickly. The my true self will grow, change, and something new will proliferate from the new experience. And…one day, I bloom again.