Why do I make at home? どうして、家でつくる?

Why do I make at home?


Why do I make at home? When do I have time for it? Well, I even make time, shall we?

Standing by the window, looking up the grey sky. “What am I going to make today?” said I silently. I remember that I bought some beautiful smoked chicken from a market near my place. As soon as I imagined the thinly cut slices, I began to smell the garlic confit soaking its foxy coloured body in my Staub. The smell of the garlic, roasted rosemary, and golden coloured olive oil. The right side of my lips slightly move up. Yep, I need focaccia for some sandwich for a special treat.

First and foremost, I love making. Making and its process, and of course, the product; in fact, the whole ritual from going to get ingredients to doing dishes makes me think, struggle, happy, challenge, and smile. One of the most enjoyable making events, for me, happens in my small kitchen. Most of the things transform from simple ingredients, and bread is always on that list.

When I was in 20s, I got quite ill. One quiet snowy night, I woke up in the middle of the night with an excruciating pain all over my body. I remember crawling out of bed, and yet the scenes after that project in my brain as blurry image still today. After being in a bathroom for a while releasing most of the liquid from the top to the bottom, I finally managed to call someone for a help.

When I got to the ER, the doctor had bunch of tests. I don’t know how long, but when I woke up, the sun was already up. The doctor dealt with me looked like already gone home. A new face slowly approached me and announced that I had a hepatitis – but neither type A, B, nor C.

The doctor decided to keep me in the hospital – which ended up a three-week of hospitalization since they could not really find a proper reason other than my liver enzyme number was extremely high like 2000. The healthy people’s enzyme is between 10 to 40. So, 2000 seemed to be deadly.

A few days later, some test results came back. According to the doctor, I had a very rare case of hepatitis that sometimes happens because of the medications that I took in the past. I never knew back then, but I was allergic to a lot of medicine and chemicals.

Ever since then, I make things that I put in my mouth as much as possible to avoid additives and buy as organic as possible. Yes, it’s time consuming and not so friendly to my wallet, and yet I learned that life is priceless.

Food that I make is not perfect. look at this Mexican dinner. If my friends from Mexico saw this or even tasted it, they definitely will laugh at me.

It’s ok. I don’t mind if they do or anyone judges. I don’t deny. I am not sure if I can even call this Mexican food. While making this, my beautiful memories of cooking events that I used to experience with people from Mexico returned. Since I said good-bye to them we have been promising to see each other again. The dream still has not come true.

However, you know, they at least come back to my heart when I make food like this. Making and its process create this special space for me to linger and beautifully move my heart. Miss you, Amigas.

Today, I made lentil curry. Tomorrow, I will make something that makes my body and mind happy. And one way, before I end this life, I know I will see those friends who used to cook with me. In the meantime, I appreciate those food that sustain my life.